“Someday, your whole life will flash before your eyes and when it happens make sure you don’t watch it…….with regrets”
This year has been quite different. Although the first 6 months were chill and fun, as those months was my last days of my MBA. Fortunately I had got campus placement and got posted in Bangalore. Yes this was a milestone in my life.
Why this year was different is mainly because I moved in to a new city and have started earning and living under my own expenses for the first time. Although this is not the first time I am staying away from my family, as I have stayed in hostel during my Btech days, this time, there are no vacations anymore. You don’t know how long you will be staying here. Before, it was fixed when the holidays would start and it would be a long 1 as well. So it was clear what was going to happen in future. Now , I am working and have to plan my holidays accordingly. And the number of days are less. Thus less time you are spending and meeting your family as well. Time spent with them is becoming precious now.
There are many things to reflect this year, and it has been hard hitting as well, in certain cases. As days went by these months, I realised losing friends is a real thing. You also realise that, there are few friends who really match your vibe and stay for life. Some just lose contact whereas some just drift apart. Before coming to Bangalore, many of my friends were staying here.
But during the 1st 2.5 months, slowly all of them moved out. Makes sense cause they already were here for 1, 1.5 years , and wanted a change, while I was doing my masters in Mumbai at that point of time. Some wanted to change jobs while some wanted to go for higher studies. I ended up being alone here. Only had 1 friend here, which was a blessing for me. But otherwise nothing to do.
That’s when loneliness hit me. I felt sad and lost. At the same time I was falling ill as well and missed my life back in Mumbai. Felt as if I was stuck here and that maybe going back to Mumbai and finding a job is better.
As time went by things did get better, I had a good roommate with whom I went out. My office colleagues also came out to be cool and fun people. They were mingling and made me comfortable. Yes, now that I have completed 5.5 months staying here, i won’t say I have made lot of progress but I definitely have learned things which have impacted my life.
Everyone has their own plans in life and mostly will not align with yours. That is absolutely fine. Being independent, self sufficient and be grateful for what you have, is all you need to be stress free in life. Thankful to God that I am in that position. Even when my roommate left the PG and went back to Chennai, I did feel lonely. Now, I have got used to it and have embraced solitude. I realised the reason why I felt lonely was because I used to think that there is no 1 in my life to back me up in case I face any issue. Then, I remembered that’s not true. Nope, not at all. I have my parents, sister and my friends who are physically far but always there for me. Incase I feel down I know I can reach out to them and my mood will be better. It’s just a simple act of calling and connecting. That’s all. That is also when I learned how important it is to keep in touch.
Another reason why I felt lonely is because, I didn’t keep myself occupied. That’s when I started to revive my hobbies. Which are reading books, drawing mandalas and writing stories.
Some fond memories that I have are mostly the little things that people have done for me. Some of them being, my first PG roommate getting me food after she came back meeting her friends. The times spent during lectures with my MBA peeps. One office colleague who let me borrow his novel. Another colleague who’s always willing to drop me till my PG after office. Another colleague who drops a chocolate on my desk for me to eat later. Another office colleague who is caring and enquired about my health when I felt low and was willing to do some of my work for that day so I could recover properly. Having snacks time with them and discussing things here and there. Outings I had with them. I am fortunate to have such lovely colleagues in my team, who organised fun events and made sure everyone’s a part of it. Working here has challenged my beliefs, whether office colleagues could really be good friends.
I have begun to see people as characters in my life story. Each of them having a chapter dedicated to them, cause all of them have a backstory which moulded their character and have made them what they are today. Even when they narrate certain incidences I feel as if I am a reader. I never used to do this before one reason might be because of the love I have for books and other is because something just changed after coming to Bengaluru.
Now that my studies are done, and I started working , my mind has begun wandering around what other things I would like to achieve in life. My friend used to tell me this, that after getting a job, start creating goals for yourself. Create events or something in your life to look forward to. Or else it would be a mundane life. Yes, he was right. So I have prepared some goals for myself. I want a 2nd way of income, pursue my passion for dancing and learn how to ride a bike. Recently I have started going for dance fitness with my office colleague. So that’s one start for me to pursue my passion in dancing. I joined oopar as well and found opportunities where I could improve me skills in writing and be a better person as well.
As I am leaving this year behind, here is what I see and think in my life right now. Job is not our life, it’s a part of our life. I need to plan my future on my own and finance as well. I am young and I will meet many new people in my life. Some will stay some will leave, and that is fine. Not all changes are bad, infact most of them do turn out to be good for you. You have only one life, live it. You cannot predict the future, so live the present. As I age, more responsibilities will be coming in my way and I have to be ready for it, and I know I will be.
How? By believing myself, and that is the biggest lesson I have learned this year.
“When your head hits the pillow tonight, remind yourself that you are alright
You are doing a great job
Be patient with yourself and remember that big things are achieved not all at once, but one day at a time.