Just like every year, everyone hopes for one’s life to be in a proper order, without chaos and suffering. But how to bring that order in life.
Anyone whom I ask what makes them happy, they say that they be happy when they do things that they love. Things that they are passionate about. Like doing a loving job, drawing, teaching, etc. But if you think how much of this matters to understand our existence, you become sad again. Because the things that people define as something that they are passionate about, aren’t actually helping them in knowing the reason for their existence in the universe.
They are just trying to get busy with something (like, a job, drawing, teaching, etc), something that can fill their brains to think about, something to occupy their thoughts, something that can make the time pass, because if they stop doing that, they don’t know what else to do, what things to think of, and that starts chaos in their mind which they are always trying to avoid intentionally or unintentionally.
Many people in their life at some point feel lonely. And in that state, they assume things like they are not likable, not lovable, unfriendly, worthless, etc. They wake up late in the morning, no bathing, have their first meal in the afternoon, sit/roll in the chair/bed all day. No work to do. No friends to go out with. Cry in the bed alone after looking at the joyful lives of people they know on social media. Haunting and upsetting thoughts of what they are doing with their life. No purpose or goals. Growing angry and unsatisfied. Watching movies, porn and masturbating until they get pissed off of doing that too.
Now let’s look at someone who wakes up early and does some exercise. Cleans his surroundings. Goes to work, catches-up with friends, goes to restaurants/movies with them, learns a new skill, back to bed and makes sure to get at least 7 hrs of sleep.
Now, between the above two, one can point out that the second one is actually living the fullest at least up to some extent. But my point is, these people are just making themselves busy because they don’t know what to do if their brains are not occupied with something or the other. These things that they call out as something that they are “passionate” about, aren’t actually things that reflect or explain their existence. If they don’t go to work, learn something new or hang out with friends, they just go back to being that other person who we term as depressed.
So, in the midst of being depressed/getting ourselves busy, what are we?
– Mano